How to Deal with Suicidal Thoughts

Today’s topic seems a little traumatic, a little heavy, but it’s important because there are people who need this help. If you’re thinking about suicide, if you want to end your life, or if you know someone who has been talking about wanting to die or committing suicide, read this article and help that person with the information I’m going to share with you.

Unfortunately, about 1 million people commit suicide each year worldwide. That’s nearly 2,740 per day, 114 per hour, or almost two every minute. How tragic, isn’t it? If we include suicide attempts as well, the number ranges from 15 to 25 million per year.

There are many causes of suicide. They involve sociocultural, genetic, psychodynamic, philosophical, existential, and environmental factors. If a person has a mental illness, this becomes a significant risk factor for suicide. Perhaps you suffer from depression, or you may be addicted to a substance and unable to quit, or you have a personality disorder that is difficult to resolve; you may have bipolar disorder, alcoholism, severe chronic anxiety, or schizophrenia.

Or you may want to take your own life for another reason—perhaps financial, such as losing your job or your business going bankrupt—and now you’re in debt, unable to pay your bills, and unable to support your family. Or you may feel deep shame over something that happened and believe there’s no way out, no solution. Perhaps you also feel guilty, believing that you can no longer be forgiven. Or you may feel as though you’ve lost your reason for living, perhaps driven by anguish, since anguish produces a sense of emptiness and a lack of meaning.

But it may be that, deep down, you don’t want to die and have come to the conclusion that you don’t know how to keep living with what feels like a dead end to you. Let me tell you that the feeling of having no way out is just a feeling, an emotion. Think about it. Feelings and emotions are things that change, just like the weather. For example, in the morning it might be sunny with a blue sky, and after lunch it might get cloudy, a storm might roll in, and then the blue sky might return again. In other words, the good and pleasant things we feel will pass, but the bad things we feel will also pass.

I imagine you may have been going through something painful for a long time and so feel that there’s no way to stop this pain. But it’s important to realize that the solution to your pain—this pain or problem that’s pushing you toward the idea of taking your own life—may be real, even if the problem isn’t resolved in the ideal way. The solution may not be exactly what you’d prefer or want, but it can be reasonable. Furthermore, it’s possible to learn to cope with loss and frustration, as well as anger toward reality. Many people who think about suicide feel so much anger over something that did or didn’t happen in their lives that they may want to direct that anger toward themselves by taking their own life.

Think about this: your children and grandchildren need you—even if they seem and act independent—you are important in their lives. There is an emotional bond between you and them. A person who takes their own life leaves a mark on the lives of their family members that can never be erased. And for some family members, the suicide of a relative can lead to a state of depression from which it is difficult to recover.

Think about this, too. In a mind suffering from depression or other psychiatric distress, there’s a change in brain neurochemistry that fosters a distorted view of life and reality. And once that’s corrected, true relief will come. It’s as if you were temporarily wearing someone else’s glasses, whose lenses are prescribed for a different prescription, causing your vision to be somewhat blurry.

Blurred vision, therefore, is not reality; it is a lens that is not right for you. This change in the brain that produces a negative outlook on life is not permanent, and with proper treatment, it can be corrected, allowing the brain to function healthily again. Thus, your emotional or mental pain will change, diminish, or disappear—at least for a while. And when—and even if—it returns, a psychological resilience can be built within your mind that will make it much more bearable than it is now.

In other words, your mind can adapt to the loss you may be experiencing, even if that adaptation hasn’t happened yet. You don’t necessarily have to suffer at the same intensity all the time. I’ll repeat what I said before. The good thing is that what you’re feeling will pass. None of us humans can feel good all the time—24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Mentally healthy people experience painful feelings from time to time. Mental health isn’t about never feeling sadness, anxiety, or fear; it’s about not making mistakes when you do feel those unpleasant emotions.

So, the good and pleasant feelings we experience pass and go away. That’s the truth. But the bad feelings we experience also pass and go away. During a time of severe crisis when your mind turns to suicidal thoughts, try to talk to someone close to you about how you’re feeling. If you’re alone, call a friend or relative, talk about it, or, if possible, leave the house and go meet with a family member or friend who can support you in an emergency. If you’re currently seeing a psychologist, psychiatrist, or family doctor, get in touch with them. Another option is to call the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988 (In US and Canada, other countries see here).

The call is free of charge. The hotline is a nationwide service specializing in assisting people with suicidal thoughts. The counselor who answers your call knows how to help someone who is struggling with suicidal thoughts.

During a time of severe crisis when thoughts of suicide arise, go to a quiet place—your bedroom, for example. Close the door to have some silence and start praying to God. Open your heart to Him. Talk about your struggles, your despair, and your desire to die, and ask that these pessimistic thoughts be controlled and driven from your mind by the power of Jesus. He will help you no matter what is happening in your life.

You know what can help you get past this tragic thought? Think about what has been going well in your life. Reflect on what you’ve been able to accomplish despite your struggles with depression or the issue that led you to think about dying.

A journalist interviewed several people who had attempted suicide, but something went wrong and they didn’t die. When he asked them what they were thinking at the moment they took that step to kill themselves, do you know what they all said? They said, “I regretted it.” That negative emotion you’ve been feeling—the one that makes you want to die—can be minimized, reduced, and even eliminated from your mind. Seek help; this will pass.

I’d like to leave you with a passage to reflect on:

For thus says the High and Lofty One
Who inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy:
“I dwell in the high and holy place,
With him who has a contrite and humble spirit,
To revive the spirit of the humble,
And to revive the heart of the contrite ones.
Isaiah 57:15

God is there with you when you’re distressed and down, and He will help you. Trust Him. Your life will get better. Just believe.